Why you want what you want.
Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life
by Luke Burgis
Philosophy
TL;DR
This book is your wake-up call to the invisible forces making you want stuff. It teaches you to unmask the 'models' influencing your desires, escape the endless cycle of competitive wanting, and cultivate your own authentic desires. Basically, it's a guide to stop being a desire-puppet and start pulling your own strings, so you can actually want what you want, not just what some rando on TikTok is flexing.
Action Items
Pick one thing you've wanted recently. Ask yourself, 'Who made me want this? Was it my idea, or did I just see someone else flexing it?'
Notice if you're feeling competitive or resentful towards someone. Ask yourself if you're both just chasing the same 'thing' and if that 'thing' is even worth the emotional toll.
Spend 10 minutes alone, phone off. Think about one thing you genuinely enjoy doing or learning, purely for yourself, without any external pressure or influence. What makes you feel alive?
Unlock the full book to see more action items
Key Chapter
Chapter - The Invisible Influencers: How We Catch Desires Like a Cold
We're all just a bunch of copycats, whether we admit it or not. Think about it: your career path, your fashion sense, even your dating preferences – chances are, you've got some 'models' (aka, people you look up to or just observe) subtly dictating your wants. This isn't always a bad thing, but it gets messy when you're blindly chasing desires that aren't even yours. The real power move is to identify these sneaky influencers, both the good ones and the ones leading you astray. Once you know who's pulling your desire strings, you can consciously choose if their path is actually your path. It's about reclaiming your internal GPS so you're not just mindlessly following someone else's directions to a destination you don't even care about.
Key Methods and Approaches
Your Brain's Copy-Paste Function
(AKA: Mimetic Models)
Description:
Uncover the secret influencers making you crave stuff you never knew you needed.
Explanation:
Your brain's basically a social media feed, constantly scrolling through what others are vibing with. These 'models' are the OG influencers – your friends, that celeb, or even just some random rich dude on LinkedIn. You see them with a new gadget, a 'perfect' life, or a fancy vacation, and suddenly your brain's like, 'OMG, I need that too!' It's not your desire, it's just a viral trend your brain caught. You're basically a human parrot, repeating desires.
Examples:
Buying the exact same overpriced coffee maker your coworker raves about.
Suddenly wanting to start a side hustle because everyone on your feed is doing it.
Dating someone because they're popular, not because you actually like them.
Getting into a niche hobby because your crush is into it.
Today's Action:
Pick one thing you've wanted recently. Ask yourself, 'Who made me want this? Was it my idea, or did I just see someone else flexing it?'
End of Preview
Want to read the complete insights, methods, and actionable takeaways? Unlock the full book experience with Pro.
Your daily 1-minute insights