Anxiety Over? For Real.
Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks
by Barry McDonagh
Health & Wellness
TL;DR
This book isn't about some woo-woo spiritual journey; it's a straight-up tactical manual for kicking anxiety's ass. The core approach is to D.A.R.E. your anxiety: Defuse the panic by acknowledging it, Allow the feelings to be there without fighting, Run Towards the fear instead of away, and Engage with your life despite the discomfort. It's all about rewiring your brain's alarm system by consistently showing it that the perceived threat isn't actually dangerous. You learn to stop feeding the anxiety beast with your fear and instead starve it into submission by changing your reaction to anxious thoughts and sensations. Basically, you learn to treat your panic like a clingy ex – acknowledge it, don't engage, and move on with your life.
Action Items
Next time you feel a tiny bit anxious (even just a deadline stress), try to mentally say "I allow this feeling to be here" and then immediately shift your focus to something else you need to do. Don't fight it, just observe and move on.
For the next hour, every time you notice an anxious thought or sensation, simply acknowledge it with a mental "Okay, I feel that," and then immediately return your attention to whatever you were doing, without trying to push the feeling away.
Pick one minor thing that gives you a tiny bit of anxiety (e.g., making a phone call, walking into a slightly crowded store, sending that email you've been putting off). Instead of avoiding it, actively lean into the feeling of discomfort as you do it. Don't try to make the anxiety go away; just do the thing while feeling it.
Even if you're feeling a bit off, commit to doing one normal, enjoyable activity today that anxiety might try to stop you from doing (e.g., watching your favorite show, going for a walk, calling a friend). Do it fully, without letting the anxiety dictate your actions.
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Key Chapter
Chapter - Your Brain's BS Detector is Broken (aka The DARE Response)
So, your brain's got this alarm system, right? And for some reason, it's been hitting the panic button over literally nothing. This book teaches you to basically tell that alarm to chill. Instead of freaking out when your heart races, you learn to be like, "Oh, hey, heart, doing your thing, cool." It's about not adding fuel to the fire of anxiety. You stop fighting the feeling and instead, you just let it be there, like an annoying roommate you can't kick out. The real magic happens when you lean into the discomfort, showing your brain that these sensations aren't actually dangerous. This rewires your internal panic button, teaching it to calm down and realize there's no actual saber-toothed tiger. It's about taking back control by changing your reaction, not by eliminating the feeling.
Key Methods and Approaches
Your Brain's BS Detector Reset
(AKA: The DARE Response)
Description:
A four-step process to immediately respond to anxiety and panic, basically telling your brain to calm its tits.
Explanation:
Imagine your brain is a toddler throwing a tantrum because it thinks a shadow is a monster. You don't argue with the toddler; you acknowledge its fear, let it cry, then distract it with something else. DARE is like that. You Defuse by saying "whatever," Allow the feeling to be there, Run Towards it by leaning into the discomfort, and Engage with your life. It's about showing your brain, "Nah, fam, this ain't it."
Examples:
Feeling your heart race? Instead of "OMG I'm dying," think "Oh, my heart's just doing cardio, cool."
Getting dizzy? "Alright, brain, you're trying to make me feel floaty, I see you."
Panicking before a presentation? "Okay, body, you're hyped, let's channel this energy."
Today's Action:
Next time you feel a tiny bit anxious (even just a deadline stress), try to mentally say "I allow this feeling to be here" and then immediately shift your focus to something else you need to do. Don't fight it, just observe and move on.
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