Master the Art of Influence!
Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results
by Judith E. Glaser
Communication
TL;DR
This book is your cheat code to not sucking at talking. It teaches you how to hack your brain's chemistry to build instant trust and avoid triggering people's fight-or-flight response during chats. You'll learn to level up your conversations from basic info dumps to co-creating epic solutions, and how to ask the right questions to get to the real issues, not just surface-level BS. Basically, stop talking like a robot and start leading like a human who actually gets results and doesn't make everyone want to ghost them.
Action Items
Before you open your mouth, ask yourself: 'Am I about to drop a chill beat or a panic alarm?' Aim for chill.
Before your next important chat, decide if you're just there to exchange info, win an argument, or actually build something new together. Aim for building.
When someone gives a vague or unhelpful answer, follow up with 'Can you tell me more about that?' or 'What's behind that thought?'
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Key Chapter
Chapter - The Three Levels of Conversation: From 'Just Talking' to 'Actually Connecting'
Most of us are stuck in basic-level chats, like just exchanging info or trying to prove a point. It's like playing a video game on easy mode, just button-mashing. But this book drops the truth: there are higher levels where you actually co-create solutions and build real trust. It's about moving beyond just talking at people to truly engaging with them, making them feel heard and valued. When you understand these levels, you can consciously choose how you interact, turning awkward work meetings or family dinners into genuinely productive and bonding experiences. Stop settling for surface-level BS and level up your convo game.
Key Methods and Approaches
Your Brain's Chemical Cocktail Mixer
(AKA: Neurochemistry of Trust)
Description:
How your words either make people chill and trust you, or freak out and shut down.
Explanation:
Think of your brain like a club. When you say something that makes someone feel safe and understood, you're dropping oxytocin – the 'let's chill and vibe' chemical. Everyone's dancing. But if you're accusatory or dismissive, you're blasting cortisol – the 'fight or flight' alarm. Suddenly, everyone's looking for the exit or ready to throw hands. You want to be the DJ playing the good stuff.
Examples:
Starting a tough convo with 'Hey, I appreciate you taking the time to chat' instead of 'We need to talk about your screw-up.'
Asking 'What are your thoughts on this?' instead of 'Here's how it's going to be.'
Validating someone's feelings even if you disagree with their actions.
Today's Action:
Before you open your mouth, ask yourself: 'Am I about to drop a chill beat or a panic alarm?' Aim for chill.
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